The shortest distance between two people is a smile - or
between people, a relationship is always "looming", whatever we do. That is why we are always entering into interpersonal relationships.

  • The detective chief inspector sat across from the convicted murderer and looked straight into his hate-filled, bloodshot eyes.
  • Leonardo looked, head slightly tilted and with endless goosebumps, into the green eyes of the beautiful Mona.
  • The doctor looked worriedly into his high-risk patient's face and lowered his eyes.
interpersonal relationships

Three brief moments in which interpersonal relationships play out. Sociologists, behavioral scientists and psychologists also call it a "social relationship". Clever people such as Max Weber, Leopold von Wiese or Paul Watzlawick spent a lifetime thinking and researching about the concept of "interpersonal relationships". The bottom line: there is no universally valid definition. Science and research use the two words as a neutral description of interactions between people.

So what do non-scientists understand by "interpersonal relationships"?

You often hear the term in everyday conversation as a synonym for partnership, love, friendship or marriage: "So how are your relationships going at the moment?" "Well, you know, I've found that when nothing is happening in a relationship, the TV is on."

Relationship is often equated with a romantic or friendship relationship. And the common mantras are then:

Interpersonal relationships...

  • ...help us find more happiness and contentment
  • ...are good against stress and boost well-being
  • ...strengthen health and the immune system
  • ...imply honesty, sincerity and loyalty
  • ...are embedded in the alternation between letting go and holding on
  • ...are symbolized by yin and yang
  • ...are bridges in times of conflict
  • ...help us get through low points
  • ...are the spice of life

What these bloodless clichés forget: murderers and thieves also enter into an interpersonal relationship (if usually only a brief one) with their victims!

interpersonal relationships

Not communicating is impossible in interpersonal relationships

Human relationships always mean, no matter how: communication.
It is a little alarming that people who meet (whether on the subway, in the operating room, in a brothel or in church) are unable not to communicate. Even staring at each other in silence is communication. And with it, interpersonal relationship.

People "take care" of their "interhuman relations" and then define that care like this:

  • Interpersonal relationships are nurtured for as long as they are useful to me.
  • Give and take must urgently be in balance.
  • But if I get a little more out than I put in, that's okay.
  • Lots of relationships mean a good image for me.
  • Plenty of connections ("vitamin C") go a long way up the career ladder.

Watch out when you have to hear the dangerous word combination "interpersonal relationships". Do lovers, friends, people who care about each other use these words to describe their status? "We are currently diffusing in a very positive interpersonal relationship." No: "We love each other" or "We are true friends".

Conclusion: when someone comes around the corner with the technical term "interpersonal relationship", prick up your ears and be very careful.